A Morning with William Stillman

I recently had the amazing opportunity to attend a seminar given by William Stillman.  Mr. Stillman has been dubbed the Autism Whisperer for his ability to understand the needs of people on the spectrum and his gift for communicating those needs to others.  His experience? He has Aspergers.


Within minutes, I knew that I had found my new guru. His number one "golden rule" when approaching  someone with autism is to "assume intelligence." I love that. He went on to describe people on the spectrum as "inherently gentle and exquisitely sensitive." He talked about the stereotypical behaviors most often seen- yelling, hitting, biting, crying, etc- and explained that these behaviors have NOTHING to do with autism. They are reactions to not being understood and being unable to communicate in a way that allows others to readily understand them.  This rang true for me.  I have always believed that SMILE's actions are not about SMILE being SMILE.  I've known that he is frustrated. I've learned to listen to my little man when he says "no." I've learned to slow things down for both my boys to give them more processing time, a change that Mr. Stillman said is a "compassionate modification."

When the seminar was over, I walked over to meet Mr. Stillman.  He had said that he is intuitive and can feel things by meeting a child or seeing a picture. He never asks to see diagnoses or professional files.  I showed him a picture of my WINK and SMILE hugging.  He said, immediately, that he was drawn to WINK's picture (makes sense, since WINK has Aspergers).  He said he is very funny, a little performer and comedian, and that he may be in the entertainment field. I laughed and he assured me this was true.  He asked if I had ever considered putting him in a play. I smiled and said that, ironically, I had just taken my boys to a workshop held by a local children's theater company earlier in the week.  He looked at me and smiled. "Interesting," he said. After a few more moments, he told me to trust my mother's instinct going forward. Then he added, before releasing my hand, "You already do. I'm just validating it."