Stepping back...maybe

DAD and I spent days prepping WINK and building up his "social story" rolodex. What to say if:
     - he needs to go to the bathroom
     - he isn't called on by his teacher and someone takes "his" answer
     - someone gives a wrong answer to a teacher's question
     - he isn't getting a turn/ wants a turn
     - wants to play with someone
     - wants to join in a game

But our concern has been focused on the 20 minutes a day WINK spends on the recess yard. We prepped him to go over to one boy in particular, someone he knows from last year, and ask him.  After the first day, WINK said he tried to get his attention, but he didn't answer. Hmm.  We suggested that he could ask this boy if he wants to play tag before their class goes to lunch so there would be fewer distractions. After assuring WINK that he could, in fact, talk sometimes in class, he agreed that he could try that. But not on the second day, apparently.  He was too nervous.  I pointed out that he would get left out of stuff if he didn't ask to join in. But, the third day was the charm.  WINK walked over to his friend before lunch and asked him if he wanted to play tag with him. And...his friend said "no."
     Damn it! I thought. Why couldn't this kid see WINK's sweetness instead of his awkwardness and just say 'yes'? Why didn't he understand what a huge step it was for WINK to ask to play? Of course, I know it's because he's a kid. Of course.  But still... I gathered my nerves and calmly pointed out that this little boy may not have wanted to play tag. I asked WINK how he felt. He said, "still happy," and I pray that was the truth.
      But lesson learned. I have to butt out sometimes. I have to let my WINK go at his own pace.  On the fourth day of school, I dropped WINK off at the point where his class lines up every morning.  I whispered that I'm proud of him, and walked away to talk to his teacher.  I alternated between badly wanting to  trip the kid that had upset my son  and wanting to set up an elaborate play date to space camp to win his loyalty.  Of course, I didn't do either.
     Good thing, too. On the fourth day, they played basketball at recess.