SMILE finally had a tantrum in front of his TSS (Sue) and BSC (Heather). It happened while SMILE was upstairs showing Sue his marble game (a crazy configuration of chutes you send marble down) and Heather and I were downstairs. Heather and I heard a shriek, jumped up, and ran up the stairs to help. I followed Heather into the room and cut in front of her as she made her way to SMILE. Are you kidding me? I thought, Oh no you don't! I stuck my hand out on my side and said, firmer than I expected to, "I'll approach my son."
My poor little guy! He was a sobbing, thrashing mess sitting on the floor amid 50-60 plastic pieces that once made up his beloved game. "It's broken!," "It's ruined!" And of course, he wanted me to put it back together right then and there. I calmly explained that we didn't have the time, it was almost time to pick up WINK, but I would be happy to do it when we got back.
He wasn't a fan of that idea.
I sat there rubbing his back while Sue and Heather discussed us as if we weren't in the room. Finally, Heather suggested I go downstairs, leave SMILE to have his tantrum, and get him a drink.
And I... had... a tantrum. "What he needs," I hissed, "is for me to remain calm and give him love and support through this." Now, I am usually not quite so oppositional. But I think parents have a primal need to be the ones to stop their little ones' pain, distress, confusion. And to be told, however politely, that your way isn't working, that you need help, and that (gasp) someone else can do it better is...well...awful, even if it is not true.
After a few saccharine words from his BSC, and once SMILE quieted down significantly, I relented and went downstairs. Five minutes later, SMILE and Heather walked down the stairs and SMILE was beaming. Damn! I shouted, "Way to go, little man!" as he came to the base of the stairs and put up my hand for a high-five. He smiled but didn't notice my raised hand, didn't make eye contact, and walked past me. It's so hard to not take that stuff personally!
But as quickly as it started, the crisis was over. My SMILE was back, his TSS was shell-shocked, and I had to eat a small slice of humble pie.
But then SMILE sat next to me on the couch and hugged my arm while Sue and Heather told him to do one task after the other. I'm not sure if he wanted to show love, if he was drawing support from being near me, or if he was stalling. But either way, I don't think Heather saw me stick out my tongue.
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