I can't say I'm sad to see 2010 end. This has been a rough year, full of doctor appointments, psych evaluations, crying jags in the bathroom, and shouting from the rooftops. Where every other year I can remember from my past has had their roller-coaster moments, this one has been a series of flume rides. Exciting, yes, but at the end of every big splash, I've still been left all wet with nowhere else to go unless I climb back in the log.
So, goodbye to 2010. You know, I tried to explain pregnancy to WINK shortly after SMILE was born. He asked why babies grow inside mommies' tummies. I said it's like caterpillars living inside cocoons. WINK gasped, his eyes wide with toddler wonder, and shrieked, "SMILE's a butterfly!"
Roughly six years later, I can't help but wonder if WINK had been right. Who knows how the future will unfold for my boys or how high they'll soar. I'm hopeful for this year.
A friend of mine once said that if you focus on problems, they always get bigger. But if you focus on solutions, the problems get smaller. I think that may be true. No, to quote my little WINK, "I believe that this is so." 2011 will be hard. My boys are getting older and the gap between their behavior and that of their peers is growing. But I've learned a lot, acquired a team of professionals, and taken a few tentative steps past the person I was before the evaluation results and toward the person I will need to become. Sounds a little like I'm a butterfly too. But no. I'm still the cocoon and it's still the best job around.
Happy New Year.
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