Confusion now hath made its masterpiece

The more devastating aspect of WINK's diagnosis for me is that he probably has OCD (or a related anxiety disorder). I began noticing isolated incidents of odd behavior when he was a toddler. Small things, like stomping his feet four times between steps while going down the stairs, or crying if his seat belt wasn't pulled tightly through his car seat or was twisted (these could be compulsions). But I hoped it was a phase and began diligently looking for the slightest hint of an obsessive fear. As the years passed, I noted a few more examples of quirky behavior.  I'd have to phrase things "correctly" at times or give a particular response- "yes" instead of "okay"- but I still didn't see evidence of anxiety or fear.

Until recently, that is.  I think I figured out my WINK's fear.  He has to be understood and he has to really understand what is said, what to do, what to expect at all times.  This may seem logical.  Of course he wants to be understood and to understand, everybody does. But WINK is paralyzed by uncertainty if he isn't given explicit instructions or if he can't follow a rule.  WINK used one of his teacher's classroom books for a book report he turned in last week but he has yet to return the book to her.  Why?  She hasn't asked for it (!!!) and (on another day) it's too early because books go back to the library on Monday (it's not a library book...).  He also can't make a decision.  And I'm not talking about life and death decisions here.  It took WINK forty minutes and a lot of sobbing to decide on how he wanted to sleep last night- under the top sheet or above it.  Dad and I tried calming him in every way we could think of.  It wasn't until I rephrased it and told him that scientists have these dilemmas all the time (and subsequently made it into a science experiment) that he stayed soothed and returned to bed.

This scares me in a way that SMILE's tantrums do not.  There's a loopy kind of logic, a cause and effect, to SMILE's behavior. It's unpredictable but once an issue is figured out (he doesn't like to get wet) and a solution is found (put a poncho on him when it rains), that resolution is consistent.  But my WINK...